“You… complete me- Jerry Maguire
The infamous quote of the century. My question is, how did Jerry KNOW that Dorothy could in fact COMPLETE him? Like she was the missing puzzle piece to his heart? (or she had his wallet…) There are countless movies, lyrics and books where they all in a round about way mention if you find the right mate who completes you, they will finally fill your every need and make all your dreams come true. (kind of a high standard right?)
From the textbook, “Sex, Love and Romance in the Mass Media,” dating expert Mary Laner suggest, ” that the depersonalization inherent in our mass media society might lead to unrealistically high expectations and individual longings for a close relationship in which one person will satisfy every need. “ Does the song … “Some day my prince will come….Some day when my dreams come true..” sang by Snow White ring any bells? Admittedly, we have all grown up thinking there is only ONE person out there that can truly complete us and make us happy. The reality is, the higher the expectations, the harder we fall when they aren’t met.
We see it in the movies, like most Disney and chick flicks, and also music lyrics with titles like “I can’t live, if living is without you,” and “You’re nobody till somebody cares.” Or you can go to the bookstore and buy the book, “From Your Lips to God’s Ears…Finding Your Right Mate in 10 easy Steps. (All for the small price of $12.95) Some excerpts from the book, “Are you lonely? Do you long for that special someone to complete you? Do you think that the right mate is impossible to find? This is a very unique little book on how to find that special someone that may have been eluding you in this lifetime.” (Not only do we have to find the person who completes us…but they may have been hiding?)
Having such idealistic views on who and how the right mate will complete you can only lead to disappointment and depression once your anxiety issues hit the fan. The path to success is to complete yourself instead of using that line, “You had me at hello,” every chance you get.
The following are examples of where we might have gotten this illusion.
Books – Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Sleeping Beauty, and most romance novels
Movies – Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail!, An Officer & a Gentleman, Last of the Mohicans, Only You, Sleepless in Seattle, City of Angels, Only You
Television – 90210, Mad About You, Ozzie & Harriet, Dawson’s Creek, I Dream of Jeanie
Music – You Complete Me, Because You Love Me, All of My Life