True Love … is it predestined?

Haven’t we all heard that we have one true love and one day that person will come to us and we will just KNOW?

Dr. Galician number one love myth in her text, Love Sex & Romance in the Media is known other than:

“Your perfect partner is cosmically predestined, so nothing/nobody can ultimately separate you.”

Sure it seems surreal, but there are many who truly believe this love myth. In fact, according to Dr. Galician’s text, a “Rutgers University National Marriage Project study of 1,0003 young adults ages 20 to 29 showed a shocking majority (94%) of the never-married singles had a romantic, unrealistic view of marriage that included staying single until they found a ‘perfect’ mate.”

It has also been known that media critics suggest television is partly responsible for these irrational viewpoints since the majority of TV writers are young and single. Love is one of the oldest and widely praised emotion that is constantly exploited on TV such as the reality dating shows. Media critics have more than once calls these shows, “fruitless searches for the perfect mates.”

One blogger posted up a snapshot of her journal doodled with a checklist of what a perfect mate has to have. (39 points to be exact)

Another blogger had doubts, but after a month worth of lame eharmony.com advertisements on TV did she sub scumming to filling out of those dating surveys anyway. Realized after that 200th question of compatibility including, “Would you like her to respect your views?” After a grueling process of answer idiotic questions when honestly some should be left unanswered, she finally said, ‘There’s never a Perfect match.’

Below is a short list of what forms of medium are illustrating this love myth.

Movies -Bridget Jones’s Diary, Brigadoon, Cinderella, Fools Rush In, Grosse Pointe Blank, Only You, Sleepless in Seattle, Sliding Doors, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, What Dreams May Come, When Harry Met Sally, Women on Top

Music - You Are My Destiny, You Were Meant for Me

Television - Dharma and Greg, Friends, Sex and the City

A YouTube video below shows several women describing their “perfect” mate.

Love = Great Sex?

As that saying goes, SEX … it’s what’s make the world go round. (Is that how it goes?.)

It is one of the many characteristics that we humans have in common with all species. (Yes … including the praying mantis and probably ferrets … weird I know)

It is also a characteristic that sometimes makes or breaks-up relationships. Mary-Lou Galician’s textbook, “Love, Sex, Romance in the Media” has identified 12 love myths, including this one.

“If your partner is truly meant for you, sex is easy and wonderful.“

I can’t help but add that this idea sometimes leads to divorce when all the couple needed to do is work it out…but I digress.

Sex is an intimate subject that is used as a driving marketing tool for most media outlets. Magazines are a big part of this. According to Galician, “Magazines are often considered cultural barometers.” Women magazine’s are just as explicit as the ones that targets men.

Sex is promoted as an elixir to our society and as Galician puts it, “sex sell.” With these magazine covers advertising sex in an enticing way, it helps supports the publications while also fueling the minds of male and female readers of what love and sex are suppose to mean.

Glamour Magazine has an online sex survey that asks for the reader’s thoughts on whether being in love improves their sex life or vice versa.Here are some headlines on some popular magazine covers.

Cosmo

“7 Relationship Truths Every Women in Love Must Learn” (That we MUST learn they say…)

“Every Guy’s Private Marriage Checklist” (wow…a checklist?… Really?)

Maxim
“SEX ME! - All Roads Leads to Her Bed” (wow…that sucks to be us…what if the guy is a douchebag…)

Influence … Video Games?

It’s been a known fact that experts and Joe Shmoe say that video games influence those that play them.

Then there are those that argue they don’t.

I say there are some that do … and don’t.

Let’s take the well-known game, “Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.” According to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, it is “the hottest selling and, by reputation, one of the most violent game on today’s video market.”

In the defense for who do believe games influence gamers … to violence, teenager Devin Moore is a prime suspect for this suspicion. In fact, in 2005, he killed 3 police officers claiming he was influence by the video game, “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.” According to The Inquirer, Moore said, ““Life is a video game, you have to die sometime.”

Ironically, the same parent company, Take-Two Interactive, that made “Grand Theft Auto” invented a game released 4 months later that say will “will prevent any excitement or emotional involvement, inappropriate or otherwise, on the part of the player.”

Can you say…cover-up?

One can’t deny the fact that any form of medium, whether it’s video games or television, does have some sort of influence to our society.

In my opinion, I think the biggest difference is when the viewer does not know what’s real or not.

According to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, Zack Hunter may think that, “Video games like “Grand Theft Auto” appeal to kids ‘who don’t know the difference between fiction and reality.’”

Blogger, Jay C posted a video of a documentary that depicts how video games affects our culture. He says, “Directors Marcin Ramocki and Justin Strawhand have created ‘8-Bit’, a film that examines the affect video games have had on our culture, whether it be through art, music or other creative outlets.

An artwork below from hardcircle.net uses our favorite Nintendo characters as players of violence.

A perfect woman? Impossible…

As a society, we love the media. Sometimes it seems like entertainment is the only reason to live. (Grey’s Anatomy…Hero’s…come on!) However, sometimes we have to question certain myths and stereotypes that arises that inevitability affect our society. Dr. Mary-Lou Galician’s text, “Love Sex & Romance in the Media,” once again focuses on a stereotype that has affected our society for ages.

“To attract and keep a man, a woman should look like a model or a centerfold.”

In entertainment, there are beauties galore. From the fashion world, to movies, TV, book covers … even the hand models for lotion. It’s a huge stereotype that has affected real-life relationships and self-perception resulting in hazardous health and depression.

According to Dr. Galician’s text, “Unrealistic Playboy-style pictures of attractive women can have attitudinal and behavioral effects on men and on their real-life relationships. Real women can’t measure up to these seemingly real fantasies.” Unfortunately, this also affects young girls who feel they have to grow up to a certain irrational standard of beauty. On the flip-side, young males are also depicted as having to always have muscular body-builder bodies as oppose to feminized male physique.

Dr. Galician did a survey at Arizona State University on this particular question. Very few men or women agree that woman should look like a model or centerfold to attract and hold a man. As a result, within those small percentages men are far more likely to agree (around 15%-compared with only around 3% of the women).

Photo on the left by By Bru Garcia, AFP/Getty Images. USATODAY .com said the picture is of models who were to wait backstage during a Madrid fashion week. The Madrid fashion show, which ended Saturday, banned overly thin models, saying it wanted to project beauty and health. Organizers said models had to be within a healthy weight range.

USATODAY.com wrote an article asking if thin models warped girls’ body image. An excerpt from the article said, “The promotion of the thin, sexy ideal in our culture has created a situation where the majority of girls and women don’t like their bodies,” says body-image researcher Sarah Murnen, professor of psychology at Kenyon College in Gambier, Ohio. “And body dissatisfaction can lead girls to participate in very unhealthy behaviors to try to control weight.”

For the folks that absolutely have to look like the cover model or the actresses on TV, there are actually self-help websites, blogs, books that say, “How to look like a Model.”

One blogger posted several pictures of celebrities without their make-up trying to prove how powerful make-up can be. This posted received a comment from an anotomyous blogger who said,

“Totally true. Plus a good hairstylist, good lighting, and good photography can make anyone look, if not glamorous, at least arty. When I was a kid, my father did some professional photography (really high quality stuff). He made everyone look beautiful or, for those with atypical proportions, visually striking. And I still use some of the tricks I picked up during a brief modeling stint 30 some years ago. Even now, I can look much “hotter” than I really am, though it takes more effort than I usually care for.”

Another blogger from NYC posts her own experiance. She wrote, “I wish I could believe that appearances don’t really matter, but we all know they do.” She goes on and mentions an encounter with a friend who constantly apologized for not looking as “hot” as she used to. She wrote, “After eighteen years of marriage, the wife of this ridiculously ripped man kept prefacing sentences with, “I know it’s hard to believe, but I was a catch when he found me” or “I used to be much thinner”. She felt like she had to apologize to the world for her appearance, even though she had found a beautiful man to love her. Now, no one rolls out of bed looking perfect.“

Nicely put.

After the recent post, Cristina, a blogger, posted a comment in reaction to what I had to say:

Comment: “Gee, well…. it’s really hard. But I’ve started to accept my body, even though I can’t say it out loud, I just think I do. I’ve suffered from Anorexia since age 14 (I’m 27 now and recently entered treatment last June) and sure the media does tell women how they should look and how it will make them happy and crap. But it’s all a lie.”

Here’s my question to Cristina’s response:

Q: I’m glad you are in treatment and started to accept your body. If you don’t mind me asking, was one of the reason why you suffered from Anorexia as a young girl due to what you saw from the media?

America and the New Times … all rolled into one

Amazing how the last few weeks have been for the media in United States, huh? I would like to start off by saying I intern at the Phoenix New Times and am proud to see all this jazz go down in history.

The media are all around us, and most of the times we take the media for granted. One example of a medium would be the press. Just recently, the Phoenix New Times published a cover page article titled “Breathtaking Abuse of the Constitution” last week on details from a secret grand jury proceeding, knowing full well it would be illegal to do so. (The title says it all, doesn’t it?)

Writers and founders of the Phoenix New Times, Michael Lacey and Jim Larkin wrote in the beginning of the article, “It is, we fear, the authorities’ belief that what you are about to read here is against the law to publish. But there are moments when civil disobedience is merely the last option. We pray that our judgment is free of arrogance.”

In a nutshell, Sheriff Joe Arpaio sued the Phoenix New Times for publishing his home address in 2004 online since it is illegal in the state of Arizona to publish a law enforcement officer’s address Web. Since then it has escalated to both executives Lacey and Larkin being arrested after publishing details of a grand jury investigation, including a subpoena demanding information about readers of that paper’s Web site going back more than three years.

What’s interesting is the response our society has to this case since it was made public.

According to EditorandPublisher.com, “Many member papers of the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies (AAN) are now providing links on their Web sites that inform readers to online sites which list the home address of Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio. They say they are doing this in solidarity with the Phoenix New Times.”

Every news medium is talking about freedom of the press, and interestingly enough, those who have never read, or have not supported the New Times have shown their opinions too.

Some comments from the New Times article were:

“I was never a loyal reader to New Times, but this whole issue will make me the most loyal reader you have. I’m going to spread the word!”

“I support New Times 100% on this, and I am a conservative Republican. …. I was never a loyal reader to New Times …”

This reader has officially changed his political party (almost):

“I am a Republican and past supporter of Sheriff Joe Arpaio. Sadly, I also voted for Andrew Thomas in the last election. Sorry. (Voted for Dan Saban for Sheriff, though, phew!) I think the song from The Who best describes how I feel right now: “Won’t get fooled again”. Who am I voting for in the next election??? Anybody but Joe Arpaio and Andrew Thomas. That’s who!”

It’s interesting to see some people actually change their views based on one article they have read and from what they have learned from the news and online.

One blogger agrees how our society revolves around the media. She wrote, “We live in a fascinating world. It is a world of constant technological innovation, a world where the culture is created by creative advertisements and information is accessible with the click of a button. Media drives our economy, provides entertainment and supplies access to information. It plays an important role in our daily lives and influences the choices the make in whatever we do or buy.”