True Love … is it predestined?

Haven’t we all heard that we have one true love and one day that person will come to us and we will just KNOW?

Dr. Galician number one love myth in her text, Love Sex & Romance in the Media is known other than:

“Your perfect partner is cosmically predestined, so nothing/nobody can ultimately separate you.”

Courtesy from ABC AustrailiaSure it seems surreal, but there are many who truly believe this love myth. In fact, according to Dr. Galician’s text, a “Rutgers University National Marriage Project study of 1,0003 young adults ages 20 to 29 showed a shocking majority (94%) of the never-married singles had a romantic, unrealistic view of marriage that included staying single until they found a ‘perfect’ mate.”

It has also been known that media critics suggest television is partly responsible for these irrational viewpoints since the majority of TV writers are young and single. Love is one of the oldest and widely praised emotion that is constantly exploited on TV such as the reality dating shows. Media critics have more than once calls these shows, “fruitless searches for the perfect mates.”

One blogger posted up a snapshot of her journal doodled with a checklist of what a perfect mate has to have. (39 points to be exact)

Another blogger had doubts, but after a month worth of lame eharmony.com advertisements on TV did she sub scumming to filling out of those dating surveys anyway. Realized after that 200th question of compatibility including, “Would you like her to respect your views?” After a grueling process of answer idiotic questions when honestly some should be left unanswered, she finally said, ‘There’s never a Perfect match.’

Below is a short list of what forms of medium are illustrating this love myth.

Movies -Bridget Jones’s Diary, Brigadoon, Cinderella, Fools Rush In, Grosse Pointe Blank, Only You, Sleepless in Seattle, Sliding Doors, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, What Dreams May Come, When Harry Met Sally, Women on Top

Music - You Are My Destiny, You Were Meant for Me

Television – Dharma and Greg, Friends, Sex and the City

A YouTube video below shows several women describing their “perfect” mate.

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8 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Short answer….no. What is “true love” anyways? We fall in love with the people we are around, people we have the same interest in and so forth. I personally don’t believe that everyone has that “one soul mate” and that its possible to fall in love with many people and probably have succesful marriages with them as well. Obviously not all at once but, depending on what choices you make in life depends on who you will com ein contact with. Love is a complicated thing that is definitely portrayed in many different ways and many people just think that love and sex go hand in hand. I believe this is why sex is such a huge topic in our society. Sex becomes synonymous with love and after all, who doesn’t want to be loved?

  2. Guess who just brightened up my day? :) Thanks a lot!

  3. It’s interesting that you say that Sarah. I always wondered what the person is thinking when that person is constantly telling their “current” lover they love them. Then the cycle starts over again. Would that make the person doubt what’s real and what isn’t? Including believing sex is the only way to make a relationship thrive. By going through this cycle, would this hinder their thoughts of livelihood satisfaction and happiness?

  4. I experienced 19 years with a beautiful man. He passed away almost 5 months ago. (age 45)The earlier years of our marriage consisted of good sex. My husband was different from any other lover I had ever had. He would tell me sometimes that he loved me during lovemaking. Most of the time he didn’t. He expressed love mostly when we were being companions and raising our family. I noticed he was seeking out true love on a spiritual level and started pulling away from wanting sex. I didn’t care myself. He used to ask me if I loved him more without alot of sex in the marriage.I thought about it and came to the conclusion that sex is over rated. It’s fun and great to make love but doing more family oriented things going on family fun days and taking trips, going out to dinner etc. was more enjoyable than sex. We would go fishing or ride on the Harley and spend alot of time hanging out with his mother too. I think true love starts out with sexual attraction and ends up much deeper when a family is formed. My husband was old fasioned and believed love making was only necessary for producing a family. I think I was lucky to be his wife.

    • Thanks Liz for your comment. (I’m sorry for the truly late reply, as you can see I haven’t been maintaining this site, but I will soon!) Your personal story is amazing and you’re right. All of us have personally molded our lives (how we act, what we do, who we love etc) based on what we have seen in the media to what we have grown up and heard. Love is never easy and everyone’s definition of love is all over the spectrum. As long as both parties have the same feelings and the same ideals…anything can work, would you agree?

  5. Many individuals forced to live with partner who is not of their choice. This happen mainly because there are not many options for them when it comes to dating sites. Especially, in the real life scenario opportunities are too less that we don’t get to meet people of our liking. We have to put up with what we are given. But, of late, technological wonder like internet has come as our rescue.For further information you can use this sites http://www.gaydatingpersonals.co.uk/blogs/find-perfect-love-with-online-dating/

  6. I truly believe with my whole heart in fate and in soul mates. I am 31 years old and I found my soul mate 5 years ago and I have been with him for 3 years. I always gravitated towards men that treated me badly, and I realized that it was because it was a defense mechanism for me. I never felt that ‘right’ feeling with someone, and it was my way of keeping an emotional distance so I didn’t settle. Then when I moved across the country with my son, I was set up on a blind date with Steve, a very sweet, beautiful man who was from the same city as me. We dated twice, then he went home until his seasonal work began again. We were supposed to see each other when he came back. I moved home a few months later, and ran into him on his last day in the city. He told me he would be back in a year and that he would be single, and if I was single, could we see each other again. A little over a year later, I was still excited about seeing him again. We’ve had an amazing three years together. My son is in love with him, calls him Dad. Him and his family are the best thing in our lives. We have our quirks, and our faults, but we’ve never raised our voices to each other, never called each other a name. We just really love and respect each other. I knew he was the man I wanted to marry from the first moment I met him and he will be. He really is that Prince Charming, knows and accepts everything about me and shows me he loves me in all those little ways that make you feel loved.(My favorite…He always rushes over to tuck me in…lol,makes me tea, fixes my pillow and the blankets until they’re cocooned around me and tells me he loves me. It’s his protector vibe) I hope everyone finds that. I believe that there are many people that you can be compatible with, I just believe that there is the one that makes for the true love that completes you. And no matter what paths you take, that person will show up in your life more than once. I may be a hopeless romantic but it’s one thing worth believing in.

    • Thanks for the wonderful story Brandi! It’s amazing you have found someone so dear and have maintained such optimism through out the years! Sometimes in our society where we see more negative than positive, we forget the little things that makes us happy and content. I’m truly happy for your good fortune!


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